


Alone in my mind

by Pokypup49



Category: Uncharted (Video Games)
Genre: Dark Thoughts, F/M, Mistakes, Regrets, lying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 17:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15562791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pokypup49/pseuds/Pokypup49
Summary: Nate is off on one of his adventures and ends up spending the night alone. His thoughts get the best of him.





	Alone in my mind

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Uncharted or any of their characters.

                The gunfire continued behind him as he ducked under a tree and around a rock. Ricochets sparked around his head on the rock and he ducked lower to catch his breath. He didn’t dare to peek over the rock to see if they were still running after him. Instead, he pushed on the rock, digging his heels into the soft dirt, and leaned his shoulder into the rock. It slid out of its seat easier than he expected and it easily rolled downhill towards the gunmen chasing him. “Haha!” He laughed out at them as they scurried to jump out of the huge rock’s way. “Take that… Oh… crap!” He couldn’t celebrate long as the steep ground under his feet gave way and he started sliding down toward his assailants.

                Nate braced as he headed for a log that he’d previously jumped over. Just before he hit it, a gunman jumped over it and he instead ran into the guy, and instantly began to wrestle over the gun. As if that was enough, the dust flying around him made his cough. “Enough,” he grumped as he pulled his arm back and thrust it forward into the guy’s face, knocking him out cold instantly. Picking up the rifle, he fired it blindly at the other group of men and headed across the hill and away from them. He didn’t have the energy to go back uphill. But he knew around the bend was a cliffside and he hoped to climb up and out of their range from over there.

                He heard them yelling behind him, but they lost his trail and he pulled himself up onto a ledge. It was tight, just the width of his feet, and he hugged the wall as his feet scraped against the ledge, moving across the cliff face. As he moved along, the sounds of the thugs behind him diminished and the sounds of the rushing waters below him in the canyon grew. He was back to being on his own, back to his task and his adventure without bullets. He stopped to shake the dust out of his hair and to look around for handholds in the cliff. He was going to have to climb up since there was only a rushing river below. The river wasn’t even going in the direction that he wanted, so he was not looking for a swim. “There,” he muttered to himself as he reached up, grabbing a rock and pulling himself up. He felt the weak rock, crumbling under his hand and he reached for another hold as he grimaced. “Hold on…”

                It wasn’t his luck, and he knew it. It was just weak rock as far as he was concerned. Nate looked to his right at another ledge and debated jumping to it. He then looked down, his deep blue eyes studying the fall from the river and wondering if he’d be able to climb out the other side and if that was going to be easier. With a frown, he reached across to another rock and felt the rock under his feet give way. He leaped over, grabbing the hold, and in slow motion, he felt it break and himself free fall. Sadly, it was a more familiar feeling than he’d like to admit. He reached out for another hold but found nothing as his body fell away from the rock. _Well_ , the thought, _this is going to hurt_.

                It did. The water was rushing, pulling him under and he fought hard to pull himself back to the surface, gasping for air, and dodging boulder in the river.

                “God damn it,” he swore as he coughed loudly. He finally found himself on a small beach downriver. It was farther down than those gunned goons, which meant that he had to go back through their joyful camp in order to meet up with Sully. Not only that, but the river took a beating on him. He was bruised and cut, and now wet. He ran his hand through his wet hair as he looked around. “Stupid,” he muttered to himself. _I just had to take the shortcut_ , he growled at himself in his head. _Now I’m lost and even more off trail_. And he knew it too. It wasn’t like he needed help, but Sully couldn’t even send a search party because… well… Nathan Drake just didn’t do things legally. Thus, everything that he was doing, didn’t need attention from anyone else. And now, he was miles downriver, in a thick jungle, on the wrong side of the river, and _alone_.

                Nate stretched out his shoulders, pulling his arms across his chest with the other arm as he looked around. He tilted his head from side to side and struggled to formulate a plan of attack. Plans weren’t really his style, but he had to have some kind of plan for this. Looking towards the sun, he had just a few hours left of daylight and then he’d be fighting more than gorilla henchmen. He was going to have to watch for panthers, mosquitos, and other predatory animals looking for lunch. Where he wanted to be, if he had to camp out, was on that cliffside where he felt safer. Ha, he laughed at himself. Safe from where you fell… irony right there.

                There was a mildly worn game trail to his left and he took a deep breath. “Maybe I’ll get lucky,” he joked. “Maybe I’ll find the Incan gold over here.” His steps were soft, and he pushed brush aside as he followed it. His ring on his chest felt cold and heavy as it bounced with his steps. Stupid gold. Then again, it’s not like I could ever hold a real job. Nate looked behind him, acknowledging the idea that he was walking farther from the river now. Instead of going South-East, from where he came from and the direction the treasure was, he was now traveling North-West, or from what he’d guess by the setting sun’s location. “I’m way off,” he sighed. But the sun was setting, and traveling in the jungle, without a flashlight, and without a gun was deadly.

                Each step he took, it felt like he was on a steady, but a casual grade. He was heading uphill again. Maybe from up there, he could figure more out. Once it was dark, he should be able to see some kind of light from the camp he was run out of and get more of a bearing on his surroundings. He could barely see through the thick coverings, and he watched his steps carefully for snakes, and Nate hoped that this incline was going somewhere. _I should have stayed home_. He jumped over a log. _Drinking some tea, reading a book_ …. His thought drifted as he thought about home. The sky was turning pink with the setting sun and he looked up the see the passing cloud glow. _Elena would love this_. He smiled softly thinking about her. _I bet she’d be taking pictures and documenting every step_ … But his thoughts were broken as he tripped. His foot had caught something. No… his toe had run into something. He looked down to see a step, covered in vines and some grass growing between the blocks, but it was a step. It was almost too dark to see now but he could faintly see steps up. His heart quickened as a grin grew widely on his face. “Finally!”

                It didn’t matter too much. He still couldn’t see anything. He’d normally reach down for his flashlight, and he still felt his hand reaching for it, but it wasn’t there. Somewhere along the trail, he’d lost it. It could have been where he fell out of the tree, or where the vine snapped and slammed him into the wall and alerting the guards. For all he knew, it was still in the truck with Sully. He never planned on using it, so unlike his pencil and his notebook, he didn’t exactly keep it in mind. It was supposed to be an in and out trip. Easy find. _So much for that_ , he laughed at himself. _Who were you kidding?_

He was now in search of a place to bunk down. He looked around, trying to find anywhere that looked comfortable. He wasn’t asking for much. He looked to the sky again as the last rays of the sun grasped at the horizon. Typically, it rained at night or in the morning as well, and he made a conscious not to remember that. He could climb a tree and sleep up there, he thought to himself. _I could also lean against the tree and catch some sleep_. He didn’t have too many options. There was a larger stone pillar being pushed to the side by a tree and he sat down by it, leaning on it with a yawn. _I guess this will do for now_. He was going to be cold, wet, and probably eaten by every damn bug in the jungle by the end of the night.

                And it wasn’t like he was going to sleep. He crossed his arms, leaned back and tried to get some rest, any rest he could. And normally he would. But he was too bothered to let his mind rest. Now with the discovery of an unknown temple, overrun by vines and debris, he struggled to think what he was actually sitting on. _It could be a huge gold deposit_ , he grinned at the happy thought, but it quickly fell. _Or is could be nothing and just a big distraction from my destination?_  He sighed heavily and rolled his shoulders, still trying to get comfortable. He knew that he could check this Incan ruin out in the morning, however, he was already behind schedule, and the schedule was very important to this client.

                _Keep fucking shit up_ , he thought angerly to himself. _And that’s the worst part, is that I would have never fucked up if I wouldn’t have fucked up to start with_. He grumped. He squeezed his eyes shut and chewed on his lip. _Now Sully’s going to grump at me. I should have just kept my mouth shut_. His mind started replaying the last week in his head. He wasn’t sure if it was analyzing everything to find a way to make the situation better, making him feel guilty for all his bad decisions that left him completely off trail in Peru. He didn’t care, and he didn’t want any of it. He wanted something he couldn’t have; normality. He wasn’t meant for it. And maybe because he wasn’t good at it, made him want it more.

                He remembered Elena doing the dishes, and how he was on the phone with Sully. He could see her, with his eyes shut tightly, how she glowed. He hair was pulled up as she normally had it, and she was putting dishes in the dishwasher, bending over and smiling at him because she knew he was watching. He grinned, letting his mind be distracted, but still listening to Sully talk about this important client of his. Sully rambled to begin with, and maybe it was the reason that Nate was easily spaced by his conversations. But as Sullivan began to talk about this golden city in Peru, Nate’s attention was soon pulled back.

                “And you’re saying that he only wants this one jeweled necklace? What’s so special about this necklace?”

                “Hell if I know, Kid. But he’s asked for you specifically.”

                Nate did remember feeling odd. He wasn’t exactly advertised as an explorer, just an acquisitionist. It just felt funny. But the money was good.

                “Do you know anything on Paititi?”

                Nate thought and continued to watch Elena. “Well, a little.”

                “You in for an adventure?”

                Fatal last words, Nate thought through the memory. Of course, he’d be in for an adventure.

                “Yeah,” he agreed to Sully’s proposal. “Find a lost city of gold? That’s what I do best.”

                “Well, hopefully, there’s gold.” Sully joked back in return.  

                Nate felt the rain start slowly. Little droplets dripped onto his face and broke him from his memory. He looked around to hear all the sounds of the forest and see nothing. It was nerve-wrecking to some, but he just put his head on his forearms, which were resting across his knees, and closed his eyes again. He could see how mad Elena was. He could see the tears in her eyes and it killed him a little. She couldn’t go with him. And no matter how much she wanted him to stay, he wanted to go more. _I guess that is commitment issues_ , he thought darkly to himself. _Well, I’m committed to myself at least_. He felt a drop of water form and slide down his neck and into his shirt. He didn’t even feel like going back to her. It was obvious, at least to her, where his priorities stood. It still made his chest tight, thinking about it. _Jesus, Elena_ , he thought, wishing she could hear him. _You, it was you that made it difficult to step away. It never was hard to walk away from anyone when I had to. But you… you made it so much harder. And when I finally found someone that I wanted to see the next morning, and it has to be me and my stupid ego that gets the best of me_. He knew it was true too because it was his ego that drove him into the jungles to find something that others could not. _I just have to be the greatest don’t I,_ he growled lowly. _How great is it that I’m freaking stuck here in the rain without my damn flashlight, and probably going to be eaten by a stupid jaguar?_

                As the rain continued to dribble down his neck, it started following the string around his neck, collecting and dripping from his ring. He could hear it drip and he opened his eyes in the still dark to see it. There was little light, but his eyes adjusted enough so that he could make out a few objects, one being the ring around his neck. It was the one deciding factor in his life. Many things he had left behind, but the idea that he was Sir Francis Drake’s descendant was not one of them. It had gotten him funding, support, and even Sully. It was going to make him famous one day. Sure, he could be a normal guy who discovers cool artifacts, long-lost cities, and rewrites history, but wasn’t it more newsworthy to hear that it ran in his blood? He had to wonder if that was what drew Elena to him maybe. He was a story to her. _If only I could tell you the truth… Would you still love me_? He bit his lip, chewing on it gently as he thought it over. _Would Sully even care_?

                Nate ran his hand through his soaked hair and glared at the sky, only to be rewarded by a few drops from the tree on his face. Normally he’d feel refreshed, but he was starting to feel cold. The spot on his side ached and he instinctually covered it with his hand, pressing on it. He should give all this up. It’s no doubt that he’d eventually get shot again. And eventually, his luck run out and he’d be killed.

                “I thought you didn’t want to do any more of this?”

                Her words struck his heart as he heard them in his head. He didn’t. But, here he was, drawn to another adventure for another few gold coins… if they were even there. _Let be honest_ , he laughed chuckled out loud. _El Dorado was the only successful gold yielding adventure I ever had_ … But what was he supposed to say to her? Was he supposed to tell her that his so-called ancestor did more at his age then he had done, and it made him want more? Could he tell her that he wanted to be so rich that he could just do whatever he wanted, publish a book on all his falseness, and grow old on an island where no scumbag partners could find him… and her? Maybe he could lie to her again. Just one more time. What he couldn’t tell her was that he did have things that he had to accomplish, and it was going to be with or without her. He had to find Marlowe. And she just wouldn’t understand that. Now that he had a mild lead from his old friend, Cutter, he was never sure how to explain it to Elena. How was he supposed to explain his whole life to her and tell her that it’s lead to this moment?

                The rainforest canopy was a symphony. He’d heard it before. It was a relaxing and comforting tune to fall asleep to on most days. This is where he mostly found himself. The jungle was more of a home than any apartment could provide… expect a hot shower and a steak dinner. Still, he smiled as he listened to the leaves drum with the water dripping on them. He wished that Sully enjoyed it as much as he did. He knew Sam did… Sam… His smile quickly disappeared, and his hands gripped his knees tighter, angrily. All his young life, he lived life on the edge. He dared to experience and sought the thrill. There was nothing that could stand in his way, and he and his brother were invincible. Even when meeting Sully, and having Sully worry about him, Nate would rather do, then walk away never knowing. All that till the loss of his brother. Things changed drastically. And he’d never be able to explain it to Elena. Maybe Sully understood, but he never asked him to. He ranged from suicidal to irrational, but one thing that did change was his understandment of consequences. Death was a real thing. Death made him alone. His friends, his brother, everyone dying. He knew he’d soon be alone, with his own mind to torment him. Everything that he touched turned to shit, and the people around him died. Elena should have died, and maybe it was the little luck that he had that saved her. But if he didn’t protect her from himself, she’d leave him too, and he’d be the most alone he’d ever feel.

                He shifted his weight and looked around as he felt the water run down his face. _So much for sleep_ , he griped _. I should have just stayed home_. He wiped his forehead and looked at his feet, more importantly, the stone under his feet. He couldn’t see the details but he could see straight lines, blocks arranged to form a step. _There are so many temples in this area… Who knows if any of these are the right one_? Nate yawned. It’s just his life. It’s never easy. And yet he knew that it was just his destiny. It was what he was made for _. I can’t quit now. I’ve come all this way_ … He looked into the darkness, trying to convince himself that he was the best. Maybe he was just trying to convince himself that he was a Drake. That he was the living ancestor of Sir Francis Drake. He was trying to hide his own lie to himself.

                When the sun did rise, Nathan rose with it. He stood up and stretched out. It was still raining, and he didn’t expect it to stop, only hoped. It was like how he hoped that the thoughts in his head would go away, or how he hoped that Elena, and Sully, would understand when he heard more on Marlowe from Cutter. And if they didn’t… He frowned and started climbing up the steps. _I guess I’ll have to go on alone_.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you all think? I wanted it a little dark. But I can't think that he wasn't always so happy-go-lucky. I'd imagine, especially with his dark past, that he'd be down on himself. Maybe he uses treasure hunting as an escape for his own darkness?? Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!


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